Yowza yowza. All of this can be a lot, however that’s not something new since abuse allegations are at all times quite a bit to course of. And now, it appears as if the abusive pot is likely to be calling the kettle black. It’s been a couple of week for the reason that ex of former SeeYouSpaceCowboy frontwoman Connie Sgarbossa (who left the band due to their bandmate’s help of others with unsavory allegations lodged in opposition to them) shared some non-public texts supporting their allegations of abuse. from Sgarbossa, resulting in her to shortly reply with a couple of tweets. Now, the 2 have launched a joint assertion on the matter.
Sgarbossa shared each of their statements by way of X (Twitter), because the ex requested to remain out of the general public eye. Right here is her ex’s a part of the assertion:
“i do know i used to be discussing the talks of a weblog publish, however it doesn’t really feel just like the time to anymore particularly after all the pieces that has transpired – though i’ve been met with overwhelming help (which i respect greater than ). only a heads up that that is tremendous lengthy and most of it will have individuals questioning if a toddler wrote it because of my lack of care for proper grammar / punctuation and all that jazz:
“in case you’ve been maintaining with what has been occurring, then what that is about & if you don’t right here’s the brief rundown. i unintentionally cancelled my ex from her scene in story posts i made on a non-public, private account of mine which was not my intention (i perceive why it looks as if it might have been given how lengthy + detailed my tales have been & that i did publish them regardless) however for years i’ve posted various issues on my non-public, private account about my ex and nobody has ever screenshotted / shared it, and few reached out to me privately so i did truthfully assume i used to be venting / expressing my story to the identical followers who by no means shared my screenshots. i truthfully was shocked, anxious and mentally drained when i noticed the (now deleted) very fast momentum gaining tweet, one of many (now deleted) reddit threads, together with the present reddit + twitter threads & 3 on-line publications.
“i’m an individual with actual emotions. i’m completely no completely different than anybody who follows me aside from i used to be with somebody who had a following and sadly that alone made it so individuals thought it was okay to run with my private story from my account that has been solely non-public for years and do no matter they wished with it to the purpose it’s apparently now public and other people can do what they need with it. my ex can also be an individual with actual emotions, and she or he misplaced completely all the pieces and is seeing first hand what she constructed for 15 years, the group she cherished / one which she contributed closely to, the artwork she has finished, her music profession at the moment + something sooner or later, to the straightforward issues of even simply attending a present – crumble beneath her at fast velocity.
“i’m not attempting to achieve sympathy in any respect, neither is my ex, however we now have been speaking these previous few days about all the pieces and that is what i’ve realized & seen in just some days that i want individuals may perceive. i made a mistake in posting that and never leaving it in my private life, utterly offline. i take full accountability for that.
“she fucked up quite a bit with me, and we had a really unhealthy relationship on each ends that stemmed from trauma bonding as we began courting a month after her ex girlfriend handed away.
my ex being who they’re means no matter they do, particularly something not constructive, means they’re beneath a harsh public eye. her life is beneath a microscope crammed with individuals ready for her to fuck up or do one thing always, previous to this and through this time. i do know from my very own life has exhausting, unfair at instances, and dehumanizing that feels – since you’re placed on a pedestal and now must have basically a “good” off stage life in addition to a onstage as a result of it something remotely detrimental comes out – cancelled with no likelihood to take accountability or do any actions the group / scene claims to be so “progressive” and “good” at doing. the hardcore scene and any scene my ex was part of is extremely hypocritical to me as an outsider of the scene, as i’m somebody who would somewhat see somebody take accountability for what they’ve finished, give them an opportunity to point out precise change, encourage them to work on themselves & go from there. if it didn’t work and all the pieces stayed the identical, then positive, you confirmed you don’t deserve one other likelihood, however in case you did change, then i’m glad you realized one thing from these occasions and that you just proceed to not fall again on outdated behaviors.
be sincere with your self, as a result of we each are proper now: have you ever ever finished one thing in a relationship or to anybody typically and remorse it? i do. they do.
“how would you’re feeling in case your absolute worst moments have been showcased to the web & truly ruined your life? how would you’re feeling understanding you don’t get one other likelihood it doesn’t matter what you do? i don’t suppose she is an individual who is sweet for romantic relationships, as her actions actually did solely ever influence me – not her music, her profession, her scene or anything. i do suppose she must work on herself and do plenty of remedy, take accountability, get sober, and never blame different components for her behaviors.
“as the one who wrote the publish, i feel she doesn’t need to have her life ruined and have all the pieces gone.
“If it was my alternative, i might let her again in the neighborhood, however i might not be in a relationship together with her once more as a result of i really suppose her and that i each being single and therapeutic / engaged on ourselves is the absolute best factor each of us as people can do. since i’ve by no means been a fan of her music / her style as a result of i’ve at all times favored the polar reverse music, i will likely be supporting her artwork (she did the logos from my model and model merch years in the past) and have to revamp them and get new merch designs finished.
“over the times of us speaking, she has made it clear that she is prepared to do something to repair the harm she has prompted, as she already took accountability with me for all the pieces addressed. i’ve forgiven her as an individual as a result of the accountability for as soon as was real and never blamed on something however herself. if i can forgive her, i don’t see why you guys can’t.
“if followers / individuals who simply don’t like her or myself wish to simply maintain ripping this aside, we now have zero management over what you say or do. the feedback are ridiculously hurtful and most (saying we / her ought to kill our selves, each terrible transphobic remark possible, how mentally in poor health we each are – which is simply tone deaf/impolite as a result of it looks as if individuals who have any psychological sickness aren’t worthy of relationships, and so forth) are uncalled for
“that’s my assertion and in case you are somebody who despatched me messages supporting me, i actually respect you and it meant quite a bit to me. to those that shared their separate tales about their individuals to me, these tales are secure with me and that i respect the belief you set in me. lastly, we’re selecting to proceed to help one another in each other’s journeys regardless of our breakup and downfall, as a result of we understand each other isn’t good. we additionally comprehend it’s more healthy, no less than for us, to simply not harbor anger & resentment particularly if we’re each prepared to speak to 1 one other about what occurred. we additionally would each similar to to return to our separate, boring lives and never must maintain rehashing this. thanks guys <3.”
This was Sgarbossa’s a part of the assertion:
“Me and my ex have taken the previous couple days to really discuss via all the pieces we now have gone via in our relationship. I’ve taken accountability to her privately for the issues I owe her and we now have labored via it privately as a result of she doesn’t need this to be aired out in public. This course of is one thing between me and her. I’ve had a really public wrestle substances and psychological well being, I’ve finished plenty of work and gotten clear off many issues since me and this individual have been collectively and so they have seen that, tho I do nonetheless have work to do on myself and plan to proceed that work via my therapist and psyche and sustaining my medicine. Folks in my previous and private life have deserved a greater model of me, and that journey of enchancment is one which I do know by no means stops and I’m going to proceed that journey for myself and for the individuals I’ve in my life. I do know that this publish is coming many days after this all started, however me and her wished to essentially ensure that we talked via all the pieces collectively earlier than we every addressed this for a remaining time publicly.”
A large number, however hopefully this would be the finish of all of it.
