Glastonbury 2025 – The Worthy Awards

Glastonbury Pageant
Pilton, Somerset
25-Twenty ninth June 2025

Mark Muldoon presents his completely fictional Glastonbury awards ceremony, while discussing Neil Younger, Olivia Rodrigo, Pulp, The 1975, Beth Gibbons, Wolf Alice, Taskmaster and far more.

Welcome to The Worthys, Glastonbury Pageant’s very personal award ceremony. If the Oscars are the top of the movie calendar and the peak of status, consider The Worthys as extra just like the East Yorkshire Double Glazing awards. Having now in some way arrived at their fifth on-line publication, let’s as soon as once more check out the very best – or a minimum of most notable – moments from one other 5 days of organised chaos held on some farmland in Somerset.

Most broadly okay headliner, I suppose: The 1975

There was a time, 5 years in the past, when you possibly can’ve made the case that The 1975 had been essentially the most attention-grabbing main act in pop music, freely experimenting as they had been throughout whichever genres they fancied, with ceaselessly chic outcomes.

That looks like a really very long time in the past now. Their fanbase didn’t actually go for his or her wilder musical lurches, and they also retreated again to a extra conservative sonic palette with the discharge of their most up-to-date album, Being Humorous In A Overseas Language. In the meantime, artists like Charli XCX and Chappell Roan have pushed pop’s centre of gravity to a considerably extra attention-grabbing place. The 1975 are not wherever near being on the frontier of daring pop music.

All that, plus frontman Matty Healy seems to exist inside ‘the league of semi-cancelled males’, as columnist Marina Hyde has known as it, with Healy’s labelmate Rina Sawayama calling him out, on stage at this very competition two years in the past, for a number of troubling ethnicity-based attitudes and feedback.

So you possibly can fairly moderately query whether or not The 1975 must be headlining in any respect. However you couldn’t actually argue that they haven’t bought sufficient large pop bangers to deserve headliner standing. They usually’ve actually put the hassle into their staging, which is flatly astonishing: there’s a rising behavior (most likely as a result of huge budgets Coldplay are capable of throw at their headline units right here) for acts to spend much more on their headline performances than the competition are paying them. And tonight you possibly can actually inform: the variety of screens on stage ends in a real assault on the senses.

It’s odd, then, that they appear to in any other case deal with the present like a traditional 1975 gig. There’s no try to have interaction floating voters with the songs they gained’t know (the next afternoon, Pulp frontman Jarvis Cocker is extraordinarily proficient at promoting the band’s new songs). Healy as a substitute addresses dedicated followers. Later within the weekend, Olivia Rodrigo may even come throughout as much more likeable than Healy does tonight. In the meantime Individuals – a thrashy punk monitor that ought to take the wind out of an viewers’s sails – feels prefer it’s had its edges sanded down by the sound combine. Healy then additionally goes out of his technique to make a speech about how the band are avoiding making political statements. It usually feels as if any person is barely a few years away from changing into actually proper wing after they say that, however you do you, Matty. Moreover, it’s not as if anyone would’ve seen when you’d merely not talked about politics in any method by any means. Advertising and marketing your self as newly apolitical, in 2025 of all years, is a curious technique.

Nonetheless, with no new materials to advertise, that is primarily a best hits set. And people hits have the specified impact. This simply isn’t a present to win over their appreciable variety of naysayers.

Two nights later, Olivia Rodrigo is incredible. She engages with the event far more than, say, Billie Eilish, who (extra so than Healy) appeared to deal with headlining the world’s greatest inexperienced discipline competition as simply one other common tour date. (Honest play: Glastonbury-goers are very used to being spoilt by acts who lavish particular consideration and florid phrases of affection all through their units). It helps that Rodrigo’s songs are additionally excellent: extraordinarily catchy while additionally filled with character and drama. And naturally, she then duets with precise Robert Smith on Friday I’m In Love and Simply Like Heaven. In our part of the sector, a minimum of, individuals go nuts.

Greatest competition: Glastonbury

It’s widespread to listen to individuals proclaim “finest place on earth” in the direction of the again finish of any Glastonbury, and you’ll perceive the logic. A ravishing, extremely aware, historic, wildly diverse, inclusive, non-profit-maximising, bold occasion that quietly succeeds in being higher organised yearly. Big acts abound – any complaints in regards to the nominal headliners appear faintly ridiculous once you see what number of Correct Large Names play throughout the remainder of the invoice. Truthfully, after 18 consecutive Glastonburys, this journalist nonetheless looks like a child in a sweet retailer, attending to spend each hour selecting between a daft wealth of engaging choices.

Greatest set: Beth Gibbons

Clashing with the beginning of Neil Younger means it’s not precisely heaving for Beth Gibbons’ set on the Park stage. These which might be in attendance can take into account themselves actually fortunate: each menacing drone sound, anxious guitar wail and discordant violin string advantages from an ideal, beautiful sound combine, as she runs by tracks from her gorgeous debut solo album, Lives Outgrown. In earlier years, this might have gone fatally mistaken – sound bleed from the close by Stonebridge bar has lengthy hampered quieter units on this stage – heartfelt because of whoever reoriented that tent so the audio system are pointing additional away.

The efficiency has already achieved its standing as the very best of the competition earlier than she performs her Portishead traditional Glory Field. After that, it was one for the historical past books.

Most vital ‘large feelings’ second: Neil Younger

All that onerous raving up at Beth Gibbons meant there’s solely time to catch half of Neil Younger’s headline set, however it looks like an unqualified success. It’s simple to get the sense that, over the course of the weekend, many individuals may have cried upon listening to one among their favorite songs. Younger deserves extra credit score for lowering this author to tears with Outdated Man, a Younger music he’s not even that conversant in.

Greatest cowl model: Wolf Alice

It feels as if Wolf Alice are doing the whole lot of their energy to win over their Sunday night viewers anyway, however actually: slipping a canopy of Fleetwood Mac – Goals in there simply because the solar is beginning to go down. It’s going above and past, actually.

Greatest magic trick: buddy of a journalist

I’m nonetheless in awe of my buddy who gifted me a superbly chilled can of lager from his bag at 4am on Saturday night time. Really, Glastonbury is a spot the place magic occurs.

Greatest competition anthem: Widespread Individuals

With its ubiquity, you possibly can be forgiven for having forgotten what an exceptional, breathtakingly rousing music Pulp‘s Widespread Individuals is. A fully good competition anthem if ever there was one.

Greatest dwell debut of a cherished TV format: Taskmaster

The Edinburgh Fringe is likely to be offended that the group behind TV behemoth Taskmaster have chosen to debut a dwell format at Glastonbury slightly than throughout Comedy Glastonbury (which is what I name the Fringe). Anticipate much more phrases on the efficiency right here within the subsequent couple of days, however for now, let’s simply point out one of many duties, which challenges comedians to exit into the viewers and discover their closest lookalike. Closest resemblance wins. Enjoyable. Though contestant Richard Blackwood shortly factors out the ethnic make up of the gang, including “you booked me and didn’t suppose it over.” Properly, sure. That is Glastonbury and – not unusually – the viewers is 99% white. Actual disgrace, then, to see The Guardian attempt to make a little bit of a hoo-ha out of it, claiming that it’s “tonally jarring” and an “awkward” second. Not so. Blackwood unquestionably performs it for laughs as a result of he’s a skilled comic, and the large eruption of laughter he receives in response speaks of how a lot the viewers agrees with him and the way humorous they discover it. Blackwood nimbly attracts consideration to the ethnic make up of the competition in a method that can also be one of many comedian highlights of the entire efficiency. Bravo.

Most well-meaning failure: Wednesday night time, Pyramid stage circus present

The newest try by the competition to attempt to disperse crowds across the web site on the primary night time of the competition, their circus present is, in the end, an entirely admirable endeavour that’s nonetheless positively not what the sector is within the temper for. It wants amplified sound. Even regardless, a circus doesn’t appear to work in such a big venue. It’s most likely incredible for these down the entrance, immersed like they might be at a daily circus.

Previously glorious space that’s now fairly common: Shangri-la.

A really totally different strategy to Shangri-la this yr. It feels greater and extra open (nice), however this yr’s theme of rewilding sounded dry after they introduced it, and is certainly additionally dry as soon as totally realised.

The world actually appears to be like good-looking sufficient, however it removes the (usually excellent) satirical edge from the world, and due to this fact by extension, from the entire competition. Which looks like an error: satire feels necessary to Glastonbury. You possibly can perceive a inventive want to attempt a distinct strategy in spite of everything these years, however on this event, it’s to the detriment of the competition.

Pageant with the very best 2027 headliners: Glastonbury.

At all times enjoyable to get predictions in for when the competition lastly returns, two years from now. As they principally e book 5 headliners these days, let’s go along with: Rihanna, Robbie Williams, Stevie Marvel, Sam Fender and the Spice Ladies.

21 units ranked from finest to worst

A particularly high-quality weekend of dwell music means there’s little in the best way of precise duffers. Additionally, no shade on Ishmael Ensemble and Westside Cowboy, who can blame sound points for his or her low rankings.

• Beth Gibbons
• Olivia Rodrigo
• Maruja
• Pulp
• Neil Younger and The Chrome Hearts
• Wolf Alice
• Japanese Breakfast
• Rachel Chinouriri
• Weezer
• Snow Patrol
• Heartworms
• Vieux Farka Toure
• Taskmaster
• Nish Kumar & James Acaster DJ set
• The 1975
• John Glacier
• Fats Canine
• Busta Rhymes
• Ishmael Ensemble
• Horsegirl
• Westside Cowboy

UK folks can watch Glastonbury units on the iPlayer for the following month. Non-UK folks would possibly wish to give BBC Music’s YouTube channel a bash.

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All phrases and photos by Mark Muldoon, whose earlier competition opinions for Louder Than Battle may be discovered right here. You too can discover him on Instagram and Bluesky. He’s hoping to get by the following week with much less of the waterworks, really.