A fever dream of grief and style, Laura Hickli’s “name it off” finds the Toronto-based artwork pop artist channeling her trauma into one thing superbly human by an achingly intimate eruption of ache, reminiscence, and resilience.
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Stream: “name it off” – Laura Hickli
I want issues stayed the identical… Signal me up for saying ‘no’ to every little thing…
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A fever dream of grief, grace, and rebirth, Laura Hickli’s “name it off” is totally intoxicating.
An unsettling, cinematic indie pop upheaval, the music stirs the soul and tickles the ears with layers of alluring sound spliced into one seductive sonic spectacle. The dreamy and the dramatic coalesce in a efficiency that provokes us to hear in, to come back nearer, to dive headfirst into Laura Hickli’s world and choose aside her phrases, to grasp her in and out as she unravels throughout 4 minutes of survival, give up, and unusual serenity.
Ship me over a clean
birthday card at the moment
With the envelope
nonetheless sealed within the bag
I want issues stayed the identical
Signal me up for saying
‘no’ to every little thing
No extra photographing
any reminiscence
I want issues stayed the identical
I want issues by no means modified
If I might decelerate the winter
Keep dwelling, be like a mom
who hopes I’ll by no means get older
I’m calling off, name it off
Calling off, name it off
Launched in mid-July because the lead single off Hickli’s newly launched darkish secrets and techniques EP, “name it off” is an satirically upbeat observe with a hovering, catchy refrain – on that explores the numbness and disconnection that comes within the depths of PTSD. Written within the aftermath of a devastating 2023 automobile accident that left her with a traumatic mind damage and lingering flashbacks, the music marks each a private reckoning and a inventive rebirth for the Calgary-born, Toronto-based artwork pop artist. Recognized for her emotionally charged performances and cinematic songwriting, Hickli has lengthy used music as a car for therapeutic and self-expression. Her earlier launch, 2022’s Each Toes Within the World, At Least I Can Stand EP, explored themes of non secular trauma and self-liberation; darkish secrets and techniques continues that journey inward, chronicling her restoration from bodily and psychological collapse with uncooked honesty and unflinching vulnerability.
The emotional shockwave of that have sits on the core of darkish secrets and techniques, surfacing most powerfully on “name it off.” Produced with haunting minimalism and plush art-pop textures, “name it off” finds Hickli pairing uncooked lyricism with an experimental edge, blurring the road between confessional songwriting and cinematic sound design. Somewhat than revisiting the traumatic second itself, the music lives in its aftermath – in that surreal, suspended house the place the world retains shifting however the self can’t fairly comply with. By her phrases and voice, Hickli offers form to that disorientation, turning numbness into presence and personal ache into one thing hauntingly human. “Heated seating and my head is fabricated from lead. Bother studying and accepting I’m not useless. I want issues stayed the identical,” she sings. Her lyrics are putting of their simplicity and honesty – the sound of somebody making an attempt to maintain shifting ahead whereas their thoughts stays frozen in place.
Hickli recollects how “name it off” got here into being nearly by chance – or maybe by one. “I wrote this music in my storage studio, I do know this solely as a result of it’s on my laptop… I don’t bear in mind penning this music in any respect,” she admits. That absence of reminiscence is chilling, and it underscores simply how deep she was contained in the fog of trauma when the music appeared. “I used to be struggling from extreme PTSD flashbacks, unshakeable melancholy, and a traumatic head damage after our accident. I used to be deeply troubled and proof against life, time… every little thing.”
There’s one thing devastating in her candor – that want for stillness, for time to cease as a result of ahead movement solely meant extra ache. “For a 12 months this sense lingered. I simply wished life to cease, as a result of on the time, life meant ache and struggling and confusion and grief… I couldn’t deal with all of it.” These traces peel again the layers of “name it off” completely: Beneath its shimmering, upbeat veneer is the sound of an individual caught between life and oblivion, making an attempt to reconcile what it means to go on residing when every little thing inside her has collapsed.
She continues, “I noticed my associates proceed to reside their lives, make plans, and even get pleasure from themselves. I had completely no power, couldn’t set any targets, harbor any hope. I used to be over it. I simply wished, so deeply, that we had by no means crashed. That every one the turmoil I felt by no means occurred, and issues might return to the way in which they have been, that I might return to who I used to be, earlier than the accident.” In that longing, Hickli captures one thing unbearably human: The inconceivable need to undo struggling, to return to a earlier than that not exists.
“However I couldn’t,” she admits. “So I remained hopelessly caught within the center, resistant to vary, greedy at no likelihood of return. Every second was a battle shifting ahead, and took one second at a time. And that is when ‘name it off’ was created. Why is it a bop? I don’t know. I don’t bear in mind.”
That final line hits like a quiet exhale – the unusual irony of making one thing shiny and buoyant in the course of despair. The result’s a music that sounds alive exactly as a result of it was born from the brink, the place survival and give up blur into one.
This music is pure cathartic launch. Hickli’s efficiency is each fragile and defiant, her voice carrying the load of one thing unspeakable but unmistakably human. The manufacturing mirrors that battle: Lush however stressed, shiny however trembling beneath the floor. It’s the sound of survival disguised as pop – magnificence born from chaos.
Heated seating and my
head is fabricated from lead
Bother studying and accepting
I’m not useless
I want issues stayed the identical
I’m avoiding all of the triggers in all places
‘Trigger life is healthier
once I’m not so f*ing scared
I want issues stayed the identical
I want issues by no means modified
“name it off” is a shocking, soul-stirring spotlight off Hickli’s new EP darkish secrets and techniques, out now by way of Ba Da Bing Information.
The primary in a three-part launch cycle chronicling her trauma, concern, and restoration following her devastating car accident, darkish secrets and techniques is equal components confession, contemplation, and acceptance. Throughout its songs, Hickli confronts grief, nihilism, and self-reclamation with uncooked vulnerability and visceral grace. As she writes within the title observe, “I attempt to see the that means in life, darkish secrets and techniques I maintain.”
In her personal phrases, it is a file born from darkness however formed by resilience – proof that even when every little thing is stripped away, music stays a method again to the sunshine. darkish secrets and techniques doesn’t simply doc restoration; it embodies it – a haunting, heart-wrenching, and finally redemptive act of creation. By each trembling observe, Hickli reminds us that therapeutic isn’t about erasing the ache, however studying to reside with it: To make magnificence from what stays.
If I might dry up the river
Keep dwelling underneath my covers
Don’t begin pondering of a future
I’m calling off, name it off
Reduce it off, name it off
Calling it off, name it off
Reduce it off, name it off
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